Gepost door Henk op 3 maart 2009
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Volgend artikel : The Delhaize Minus Files : het voorgerecht
Vorig artikel : Tomatenböreks met gebraden courgette



Wood. I've always loved it. It smells nice, it looks nice and if you look closely and have patience, you'll see it transform as the sun bleaches it, or the heat of warm summer days makes it bend a little. We have this 80 kilo heavy slice of tree standing in our living room that we use as a coffeetable/seat : it has so much character that it has become the center piece of our house, So where do you think I got my inspiration for this next stress test ? How would papercraft models do under the ( very heavy ) influence of wood, mixed with a little gravity?

Clicking on the pictures will open a popup with a larger version.

Meet the test subject

Meet Little Bee, a sweet and adorable flying insect by Simon Czentnár, and Crushed Just Man.



JustUs, who designed Crushed Just Man, says about the little bloke "A papertoy/craft is very fragile. We need to constantly protect it from water, wind and several elements that could spoil it. It does give us some stress. I have a thought of making a toy to vent all this stress on." He made his point very clear by printing in very large letters "CRUSH HERE" on C.J. Man's head. Well now, JustUs, I couldn't agree more! I'm glad I finally found a kindred spirit and a willing paper model.



Test setup

2 Rather oversized slices of wood will be dropped on the head of the test subjects. The possible outcomes are :
[A] The wood is broken in 2 pieces by the force of the impact of the paper model's heads, a bit like Bruce Lee hitting a brick in two with his bare hand. Little Bee and Just Crush Man go one step further and will try to headbump a woodslice in half.
[B] The paper models are crushed by gravitional forces that pull the wood downwards, closer and closer towards their fragile skulls, until a crunching sound can be heard and the heavy breathing and squealing stops.

How exciting!





Test execution

Let's start with Little Bee. Her slice of wood is a little ligther than Just Crush Man's. She stands a fair chance of surviving this I would say. So then ... thumbs up, here we go.



Mmm. That didn't went too well. Wood : 1, Papercraft : 0. There ain't even a scratch on the woodslice. Let's not keep the tension up ... here we go for act 2!



Bwaaaah, what a hoax! "CRUSH HERE" it says, and the little fellow faints half way the test! The design is most probably flawed, something Microdot's team of highly skilled experts simply cannot ignore. Whatever the outcome of today's tests, we'll have to perform an autopsy on Just Crush Man, whether he survives or not. I'm sorry, but we do it all for science ( as you should know by now, I've repeated countless times that I am NOT driven by sadistic cravings, but by the pure motivation to help Papercraft Science advance ).

With a little help from my friend, Mister Superglue, we can now proceed with the test. Act 2, scene 2. Aaaaannnnddd ........ ACTION!



Test results

As stated earlier : the test results will not be disclosed at this time. You'll have to wait for the authopsy to be performed. Then and only then the report on this test will become publicly available. Since this is science, I have to make sure that all other variables that had an influence on this test stayed unchanged. Science, it's a hard job, but someone has to do it.